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I posted this on our Facebook page, and since a lot of you NUB's don't "FB", why should you miss the fun?
This is something to consider to enlighten yourselves you during our COVID-19 "self quarantine" mode.
I can attest to it's validity....been there, done that. # 25 is my favorite.
Copied from another bubblehead - entertaining, but truer than you might think.
So lots of my friends and family have asked me what it was like to serve on a submarine over the years. Well with this quarantine situation going on, this is a great time for you to see for yourself. The following list is things that you can do at home to experience what every submariner had.
1. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Every 2 hours after you go to sleep, have someone whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack", or "Sign this!"
2. Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to.
3. Pull all the blinds down in the windows and close the curtains. Use a paper towel roll to peep between the curtains to simulate periscope liberty.
4. Renovate your bathroom. Block off half of your bathtub and if possible, move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping. Squeegee and wipe down the stall when done.
5. Repeat back everything anyone says to you. Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
6. Disconnect your cable, phone and Internet. Connect a VCR to a small TV. Pick the 6 worse movies on video and only watch them on a rotating basis.
7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High".
8. Wash all of your clothes in the same load. When you dry them, set the dryer heat setting on INCINERATE.
9. Announce "Commence Snorkling!" Setup your lawnmower in your living room and run for at least 1 hour. Periodically hold your nose and mouth shut and try to blow out your eardrums.
10. Have your family give each other haircuts.
11. Get a clipboard, paper, and leaky black ink pen, then take hourly readings on anything in your house that displays numbers.
12. Sleep with your dirty laundry at your feet.
13. Get some broken exercise equipment and mount it to the floor in your basement.
14. Store up all garbage for a week in an open can beside the air return on your ventilation system to allow the aroma to waft through the house. Compact and dispose of it once a week.
15. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread. (Optional: Breakout a #10 can of ravioli or cold soup)
16. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.
17. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, announce "Fire in the garage!" Jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can. Run into your garage and break out the garden hose. Since there really wasn't a fire and everyone is up anyway have the kids clean the house.
18. Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together (just in case they were about to break).
19. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.
20. Store your eggs in your garage for two months and then cook a dozen each morning.
21. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
22. Put a complicated lock on your basement door and wear the key on a lanyard around your neck.
23. When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then spread icing really thick on one side to level off the top.
24. Every so often, yell "Emergency Deep!" or "Torpedo in the Water!" Run into the kitchen, sweep all pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor.
25. Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready". Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove Secured." Roll up the headphone cord and put them away.
26. Make the kids learn the location and operation of every light switch, outlet, circuit breaker, valve, appliance, fire extinguisher etc. Don't let them watch any TV/movies until they can recite same from memory.
27. Buy all food in cases and line the floor with them.
28. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.
29. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls.
30. Install a multi-channel entertainment system over your bed that doesn't work.
Life on a Submarine.
This is something to consider to enlighten yourselves you during our COVID-19 "self quarantine" mode.
I can attest to it's validity....been there, done that. # 25 is my favorite.
Copied from another bubblehead - entertaining, but truer than you might think.
So lots of my friends and family have asked me what it was like to serve on a submarine over the years. Well with this quarantine situation going on, this is a great time for you to see for yourself. The following list is things that you can do at home to experience what every submariner had.
1. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Every 2 hours after you go to sleep, have someone whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack", or "Sign this!"
2. Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to.
3. Pull all the blinds down in the windows and close the curtains. Use a paper towel roll to peep between the curtains to simulate periscope liberty.
4. Renovate your bathroom. Block off half of your bathtub and if possible, move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping. Squeegee and wipe down the stall when done.
5. Repeat back everything anyone says to you. Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
6. Disconnect your cable, phone and Internet. Connect a VCR to a small TV. Pick the 6 worse movies on video and only watch them on a rotating basis.
7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High".
8. Wash all of your clothes in the same load. When you dry them, set the dryer heat setting on INCINERATE.
9. Announce "Commence Snorkling!" Setup your lawnmower in your living room and run for at least 1 hour. Periodically hold your nose and mouth shut and try to blow out your eardrums.
10. Have your family give each other haircuts.
11. Get a clipboard, paper, and leaky black ink pen, then take hourly readings on anything in your house that displays numbers.
12. Sleep with your dirty laundry at your feet.
13. Get some broken exercise equipment and mount it to the floor in your basement.
14. Store up all garbage for a week in an open can beside the air return on your ventilation system to allow the aroma to waft through the house. Compact and dispose of it once a week.
15. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread. (Optional: Breakout a #10 can of ravioli or cold soup)
16. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.
17. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, announce "Fire in the garage!" Jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can. Run into your garage and break out the garden hose. Since there really wasn't a fire and everyone is up anyway have the kids clean the house.
18. Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together (just in case they were about to break).
19. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.
20. Store your eggs in your garage for two months and then cook a dozen each morning.
21. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
22. Put a complicated lock on your basement door and wear the key on a lanyard around your neck.
23. When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then spread icing really thick on one side to level off the top.
24. Every so often, yell "Emergency Deep!" or "Torpedo in the Water!" Run into the kitchen, sweep all pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor.
25. Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready". Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove Secured." Roll up the headphone cord and put them away.
26. Make the kids learn the location and operation of every light switch, outlet, circuit breaker, valve, appliance, fire extinguisher etc. Don't let them watch any TV/movies until they can recite same from memory.
27. Buy all food in cases and line the floor with them.
28. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.
29. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls.
30. Install a multi-channel entertainment system over your bed that doesn't work.
Life on a Submarine.
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