Tweet
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Sub
Not a creature was stirring, not even a nub;
The stockings were hung by the TDU with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The non-quals were nestled all snug in their racks,
While nightmares of Qual boards who danced on their backs;
And OOD in his 'khakis, and I scratching my crotch,
Had just settled down for a long winter's watch,
When out on the ocean there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the sonar to see what was the matter.
Away to the periscope I flew like a fish,
Tore down the handles as it came up with a swish!
The moon on the waves of a state 3 sea
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the contacts I see,
When, what to my night-visioned eye should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old planesman, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than attack boats his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
Target that sub! to the top of the sail!
Now dash away! dash away! 'ere they bail!!!"
As spindrift that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a waves crest, mount to the sky,
So up to the wave-tops the coursers they flew,
With the boatload of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the hatch,
The prancing and pawing of whole damn batch,
So I surfaced the boat, and was fixing the trim,
When down the hatch St. Nicholas came with a din.
He was dressed in a poopie suit, from his head to his foot,
And his $#*! were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a dink just rubbing his sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how repose!
His cheeks were like mung, and oh what a bluenose!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a snob,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the COB;
The stump of a pipe he in his teeth held fort,
with smoke bellowing out just like our snort;
He had a broad face and was fat like a nuke,
He shook when he laughed now making me puke.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Goat,
And I laughed when I saw him, like the rest of the boat;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his stern,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to warn;
He spoke not a word, but on his work he turned-to,
And filled all the stockings; for both me and you.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the ladder he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his crew gave a yell,
And away they all flew like the ring of the bell.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he dove out of sight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU SQUIDS, TO ALL YOU SQUIDS A SAFE NIGHT!
To all out there on Patrol today...thank you for the safe nights rest.
Not a creature was stirring, not even a nub;
The stockings were hung by the TDU with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The non-quals were nestled all snug in their racks,
While nightmares of Qual boards who danced on their backs;
And OOD in his 'khakis, and I scratching my crotch,
Had just settled down for a long winter's watch,
When out on the ocean there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the sonar to see what was the matter.
Away to the periscope I flew like a fish,
Tore down the handles as it came up with a swish!
The moon on the waves of a state 3 sea
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the contacts I see,
When, what to my night-visioned eye should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old planesman, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than attack boats his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
Target that sub! to the top of the sail!
Now dash away! dash away! 'ere they bail!!!"
As spindrift that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a waves crest, mount to the sky,
So up to the wave-tops the coursers they flew,
With the boatload of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the hatch,
The prancing and pawing of whole damn batch,
So I surfaced the boat, and was fixing the trim,
When down the hatch St. Nicholas came with a din.
He was dressed in a poopie suit, from his head to his foot,
And his $#*! were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a dink just rubbing his sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how repose!
His cheeks were like mung, and oh what a bluenose!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a snob,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the COB;
The stump of a pipe he in his teeth held fort,
with smoke bellowing out just like our snort;
He had a broad face and was fat like a nuke,
He shook when he laughed now making me puke.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Goat,
And I laughed when I saw him, like the rest of the boat;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his stern,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to warn;
He spoke not a word, but on his work he turned-to,
And filled all the stockings; for both me and you.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the ladder he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his crew gave a yell,
And away they all flew like the ring of the bell.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he dove out of sight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU SQUIDS, TO ALL YOU SQUIDS A SAFE NIGHT!
To all out there on Patrol today...thank you for the safe nights rest.